The 16 archetypes.

Replied "k" and meant it with their whole chest. Not sad, just... gone.

Everything around them is on fire. They got the joke ten minutes ago. They are deeply at peace.

Has drafted 27 versions of the same text. Sent zero. Will die with all of them.

Has been quietly holding the group together since 2019. Everyone thinks they're the reasonable one. They are.

Submitted at the last possible second. Always. Hasn't missed one yet.

Wallet contains one coin, one moth, and an IOU they wrote to themselves. Will Venmo you tomorrow.

Summoned by the fridge, not hungry. Cold pasta straight from the container. Does not remember walking here.

Has four Instagram accounts open checking if they were invited. Were not. Didn't want to go. Still spiraling.

Was asked "how are you" at 3pm. Still talking. The friend has left the table.

Has 47 tabs open. Cannot close any. Forgot what they were doing at 2pm.

Has found your ex's new partner's mom's maiden name in seven minutes. Has never been caught.

Said "maybe" to eight events this weekend. Will go to zero. Already knows. Feels bad. Will say "maybe" again next week.

Has read every message in the group chat since 2020. Has sent zero. You've forgotten they're there. They have not forgotten you.

Narrating their life like a Greta Gerwig film. Has a soundtrack. Stares out of bus windows with purpose. Was not cast.

Will not tell you the name of the band. If you were supposed to know, you would. Considers "mainstream" a curse.

Turned themselves in. Plead guilty. Will do it again.